I saw a very large woman today, about my age. She was pushing three bills for sure. And she was wearing a shirt, clinging to her tummy, that read, “Genius by Birth. Slacker by Choice.”

And I thought, if I were morbidly obese, would I wear a t-shirt like that? And I think yes, I most certainly would. I do love a clever tee.

I was going to do a whole photo blog and tell nice stories with beginnings and middles and ends, or “begiddles” as Eugene would say. But, I’m not. Turns out I have no time. I did have a nice time with Karen and Meg in Canada, and you should check out the pictures. Find them here:

West Lake Set 08/07

So, Hey. Just crawled out from under my desk to peer out the window and remind myself the rest of the world was still alive. But then I remembered I work in the basement and have absolutely no contact with the outside world, so I thought I’d stop by here instead, if for no other reason than to look at my shiny new monitor. It is so bright it hurts my eyes, but I think that’s supposed to be a good thing so I’m just going to wear sunglasses at work.

So I’m heading back up to Canada this weekend and not a moment too soon. I’ve seen entirely too many people lately spitting on the subway. Not the street, although I’ve never really understood that one either. Do you ever get the uncontrollable urge to spit on the street…like, if I swallow this wad of saliva right now I’ll simply die! ‘Cause I don’t. Never have. But that’s not even my point. I can deal with the street spitters. Sometimes you’re too tired to swallow.

I’m not even talking about the subway platform, which I also see people spitting on all the time and can’t quite comprehend. Cause that’s like a floor, dude. You just spit on the floor. Unacceptable. But nay, I refer to the people who actually hock loogies of phlegm inside the subway car. Twas never a grosser site to be seen. And whenever I see it, which sadly is way more than I should - ‘more than I should’ being once - I think, maybe it’s time to move out of the city.

But then of course I’ll come out of the sweaty tunnel and a summer breeze will sweep the park and rustle the leaves on the trees lit by the baseball field lights, and the icecream truck will be out, and people will just be getting out of the movie at the public pool, which even though it has no water is still very lovely, and I’ll think… maybe not quite yet.

But F-that, I’d still rather be in Canada. Warm up the electric boat lift. I’m a comin.